Leynos is Twisted and Evil

He kidnaps people and subjects them to his cruel bizarre cooking experiments.

A while ago, I kidnapped gominokouhai and stormsearch and forced them to endure my attempt at making pork stroganoff. By way of compensation, I promised to reveal to them the recipe. So here it is as prepared that fateful night:

Ingredients

• 450g pork tenderloin, diced
  
• 15g dried porcini mushrooms
  
• 6 tbsp of sherry
  
• 200g chestnut mushrooms
  
• 250g creme freche
  
• half a medium sized onion finely chopped
  
• 2 shallots finely chopped
  
• 1 tsp chopped thyme
  
• 1 tsp paprika

First of all, warm the sherry in a milkpan, then soak the porcini mushrooms in it and leave to one side.

Fry the onions and shallots until soft and starting to brown, then add the pork and fry until browned. Add the soaked mushrooms (and sherry), the chestnut mushrooms and paprika. Fry for a bit longer to let the flavours blend. Lastly, add the creme freche and the thyme.

Serve on a bed of rice or whatever else you think will go well.

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Last night, I subjected Ho-Il to my evil chicken and fennel stir-fry. This is something I have practiced on myself a few times to get it just right (gotta love Liddl and their 35p fennel). Also gives me an excuse to abuse my super happy fun wok. It goes a little something like this:

Ingredients

• 2 chicken breasts cut into strips
  
• 1 bulb fennel, sliced thinly
  
• 1 medium onion, coarsely chopped
  
• 3 spring onions, coarsely chopped
  
• 1 tbsp chinese cooking wine
  
• 1 tbsp sugar (I used light brown)
  
• 1 tsp Chinese 5 spice (might want to use a little less than that)
  
• A good dash of light soy sauce

Put the chicken into a bowl and pour in the rice wine. Mix it with the spring onions, and leave to marinate for at least 20 minutes.

Stir fry the onions and fennel until the fennel has softened up a little. Add the chicken, and stir fry some more. Now, add the sugar and soy sauce, and you guessed it, stir fry some more. Finally, add the five spice and give it all another stir for a good measure.

Serve on a bed of rice. (Sad fact: I have a 10 kg bag of rice in my kitchen).

I'd show you a picture, but it's usually eaten so fast that I don't have time to snap one.

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I found Excel Saga volume 1 in CEX today for six squids. I hear it's quite messed up.